Separation anxiety is something that all children suffer at one time or another. Whether as a baby, toddler or even older, a child often deeply feels the loss of parents when they leave either for a day at work, or even sometimes just to go into another room. The levels of anxiety sparked in children can wax and wane, often with no obvious reason why. The upset and emotional trauma experienced by children suffering separation anxiety can be equally stressful for parents who feel intense guilt for leaving their children.
Many parents and professional child carers have experience of separation anxiety in children and the havoc and trauma, it can cause – if you are new to the city and considering hiring a child care professional from a London Nanny Agency, read on for useful tips and advice on tackling the troubling separation anxiety issue…
Baby Tears
Having a strong, supportive and honest relationship with your child’s carer is key to resolving many anxiety and separation problems. If you have full time child care at home supplied by a London Nanny Agency it is likely that separation issues will be less pronounced. Staying at home in a familiar environment, surrounded by favourite toys will help a young baby to feel content and secure. With a live in nanny who is familiar with the routine of a household, a young baby will feel safer in his world.
When you leave for work, do not rush the departure as this will be sensed by the baby and anxiety levels will be increased. Sit with your baby for a while and talk to them about the people in the room (nanny included) and all the activities taking place. Once you feel it is a good time to leave, place the baby into the nanny’s arms so that they feel secure, kiss and hug them then turn to go. Be firm in your resolve, even if the baby cries out, do not return for a final cuddle as this only confuses the infant. If the baby is crying as you leave, it is perfectly fine for you to call the nanny as soon as you like on the phone to check the baby is fine. Nearly all of the time, after a parent has left the room, it only takes a minute or two for a baby to adjust to the new situation and move on.
Toddler Tears
Toddlers are more aware of the world around them and naturally become hugely attached to their parents. When Mum or Dad leave for work in the morning it can become a cycle of tears and tantrums for toddlers and guilt and stress for parents. The best way to avoid such perils is to set a firm, unwavering morning routine with your nanny’s support and agreement. This helps set the scene for a toddler and when they know what to expect, things become easier to cope with. When they understand that their beloved Mum and Dad return to the nest every evening, they will relax.
Getting your toddler interacting or involved in an activity before you depart is a good way of helping the transition. Not so much a distraction, but a way of helping them to feel their way without you, once you have gone. Again, as with babies, it is recommended that once you have said goodbye and kissed them farewell, you do not relent because they dissolve into tears. They will learn that such behaviour delays your departure, but it also extends the misery for all involved. Short and sweet farewells are the key to quick recovery times for toddler and parent. There is no reason why the nanny can not bring the child to the door to wave goodbye or watch you leave from the window – this can help reinforce the reality of the situation for the child and help them to adapt quicker to change.
Separation anxiety is a totally natural part of childhood and all kids suffer it to varying degrees. But don’t allow it to become a debilitating condition that totally dominates departure times as this can cause needless misery to all involved. By setting routines, being firm, sensitive and supportive, parents and child carers have the tools to manage the situation and make farewells a time for smiles instead of tears…