Sometimes moving away from an area can change your life for the good. Sometimes we become trapped in the personality we have developed over our teenage years. For me I have a reputation in my home city as a bit of a thug and bit of a bully. I am not sure how this reputation actually started, but I never fought it, and in most cases to keep looking cool and not to get bullied myself, I even played up to the reputation.
The good part of this was that no one ever bullied me. No one ever argued with me. I was always able to get someone to do my homework for me, and if I wanted to go with the easy girls, I would be number one on their list. So you might ask what was I worrying about?
The truth is this was never me. I did not have real good friends, as most people who hung around with me were there just to try and make themselves look good too. The real friends that you would go camping with and bring home to play music and video games were not available to me. They would quite rightly think I was just an obnoxious thug to bring around their homes.
Somehow, with a lot of luck and my parents pulling some strings I made it to college. This meant having to travel a thousand miles away from home. This was my chance to start again. This was my chance to be the person I really wanted to be. No more distractions of the Jekyll and Hyde scenario I had given myself over the last few years. I just hoped I did not slip into the old character again.
My first day at college I dressed smart but casual. I tried to place myself halfway between the boy next door type and the school athletic captain. You know the guy who is charming and has confidence without any arrogance. Don’t laugh. I actually felt much more comfortable with this persona, as in all honestly this is really me. Of course the proof would be if I made any friends as this new persona. I also wanted it to stay in place; I am always scared that I will suddenly resort back to street thug talk. If I did that I would be in big trouble, as there are too many of those already here trying to get to the No. 1 thug position. I think I would lose that fight.
A month is and the new me was enjoying life. The new me had a great group of growing friends. The new me was talkative, and I was even surprised how much commonsense I really had. I had hidden it for so many years that it came as a surprise even to me.
The one problem I was having was the fact I was finding the academic duties very tough. Not because I am thick, but because in the last few years I was getting my work done for me in class. I rarely did home work, so all the grades I managed to achieve were not really anything to do with me.
Don’t get me wrong I am OK at the basics, but I hate essay editing. I hate reading books and making intelligent comments and reviews of them. I keep finding myself skipping pages to find something of interest in the book. But I suppose trying to do the essay editing without reading the book makes no sense.
I will catch up. I am finding my friends are very helpful, and I think this new person I have become is going to be the one that will make my life in the future a much better one. If I can change anyone can. I just have to try and avoid going back to my old city and meeting my old friends, they will be shocked!
Malcom Sire is now the person he wants to be.