College Taught Me To Cook

The kitchen at home was the place my mum used and in an absolute dire emergency it was a place that my dad used. It was never a place for me as I really had no idea about cooking or had any inclination of ever having any reason to learn or need to have a cooking gene in my body. After all it was more important to do the essay editing assignment or play Gameboy. Maybe sleep was a good reason too.
When I was informed I had a place at college and I would have to “live in” my mum was so happy and delighted at the opportunity that I had received. But after the delight came a huge crackling laugh. She just laughed for about a minute with tears in her eyes, as I just stood there amazed.

Her laughter was because she had no idea whatsoever how I was going to be able to feed myself. She assumed (correctly) that I would not be able to cook toast or an egg. This actually was now starting to worry me too. If I did not have someone coking for me then how would I survive?
I looked up the college online and found it had cooking facilities and more importantly that it had an out of hour’s food hall. At least I would not starve. Knowing there were places on campus where I could buy food set my mind at rest and I took no more notice of the problem.
However, reality struck home after being at college for a week and realizing I was getting through so much money buying and consuming food from stalls or burger places. I had no choice but to try and cook some food in the shared kitchen. So sausages and beans could not be difficult right?
As others watched in horror I burnt the sausages to a crisp and smoked out the kitchen and hallway and boiled the beans to a mush in a saucepan that was impossible to clean afterwards. I pretended I did not care and ate this vile filth that was on my plate. I was totally ashamed.
As I sat there I watched others cook delicious foods from scratch. One girl cooked a beautiful curry style meal and another a sort of Bolognese I guess. The smells were making me scream with hunger and the look of the food being presented on plates was a million times better than the rubbish I had served myself.
One of the girls sat next to me and asked if I needed help learning to cook? I smiled and said that I did with a matter of urgency. She told me that she would show me how to cook some real basic and tasty meals if I purchased the ingredients. The only other thing I had to do in return was to help her with her essay editing assignments. I knew this was a great deal and now weeks later I can cook REAL food. Thank goodness she helped, but stupid me for not getting my mum to teach me through all those years.
Nigel Mansoon has now moved up to cooking great curries and even one meatloaf. If this continues Gordon Ramsey will have competition.