Five Funny Things My Kids Have Said

Every parent has some great stories about amusing things their children have said, or funny questions they have asked them – tales that can often become folklore within the wider family.
Over the last couple of years my two young boys of two and a half and four have begun to ask me the most incredible, amusing, inspiring and downright fascinating questions – and make some pretty amazing statements too.
So I thought I’d share five of the funniest ones for you to enjoy. Some of these are questions, and others are sayings or scenarios – but they all got us giggling together.

1. I Can’t Cope!
On a particularly long road trip back from Scotland to visit my wife’s family, we got stuck in a hellish traffic jam for over an hour. After what seemed like an eternity of slowly trundling forward then stopping again, my four year old put the back of his hand across his forehead like a Shakespearean actor, and exclaimed, “Mummy and Daddy, I just can’t cope!”
My wife and I looked at each other and smiled, ‘What does ‘I can’t cope mean’ darling’ I asked? “Is it a drink?” my son replied.
2. That Will Show Santa!
Every year we encourage the kids to write a letter to Santa Claus, telling him they’ve been very good boys and letting him know what they want for Christmas.
Last week my eldest decided it was time to write his letter so he could get in his ‘order’ early (it was September!). So I sat him down with a blank sheet of paper and some pens.
When I returned to see how he had got on, he was sitting there with a whole page ripped out of a toy catalogue – showing pictures of many different toys. “It’s so Santa knows exactly what I want!” he said. Now that’s what I call initiative!
3. Let’s Shake On It!
My wife was at yoga one night recently, so I read my two sons a story in bed. I said that after three stories my four year old would go back to his bed, and my two year old would stay in his bed and go to sleep.
We agreed we should ‘shake on it’ to keep our bargain. ‘OK’ they both nodded. As I held out my hand to my two-year-old son, he smiled and started shaking his whole body around like a little jelly – it was so cute 🙂
I then explained what shaking hands was all about, and we all thought it was very funny! (Until I realized they were too excited to go to sleep).
4. There’s A Baby In There!
Me and my wife are expecting our third child at the time of writing, and after we explained what was happening to our two young boys, our two year old pointed at my wife’s bump and said simply, “baby in there”. To our amusement he then turned to me and pointed at my stomach to say, “baby in there too!”
Now I like to think I keep myself pretty fit, but it’s obviously time to get back on the old treadmill!
5. Where Did He Learn That!
When my eldest was just three, one night he crept into bed with my wife and me because he’d had a nightmare. When I woke up I was pleasantly surprised to see him there. “Good morning son,” I said, “it’s lovely to wake up and see you here!” “Good morning daddy,” he replied, “you’re an idiot!” Now who taught him that? Mummy!?
If you want to read more amusing, fascinating and inspiring questions asked by children, and help our community find the answers, visit Things My Kids Ask Me – launching in October 2012.