Surviving Rejection

There are few life experiences that are as painful as relationship rejection. It is so painful, in fact, that many people immediately start withdrawing from their partners at the first hint of possible rejection. This is because people make the mistake of allowing others to determine their self-worth. Think about it, if you truly feel that you are worthy, another person’s actions will never have the power to determine how you feel about yourself. As such, the best way to deal with rejection is to have a strong sense of self-worth before it happens. Here are some tips for building your self-esteem and protecting yourself from rejection hurt:

  1. Understand that it’s not about you. The way someone treats you doesn’t say anything about you. Instead, it makes a statement about the type of person he or she is. Don’t internalize the failings of your partner. When you do, you give him or her power over you. Instead, realize that when someone treats you badly, they are really looking for understanding and/or help.
  2. You didn’t get rejected because you are a bad person. When we want someone and they don’t want us the same way in return, we are quick to assume that it is because of some personal defect we have. There are many reasons for rejection, most of which have nothing to do with you as a person. Instead of looking for faults in yourself, take the time to see what’s good about you. Then, find someone who will appreciate you for who you are.
  3. Stop pointing out the bad in others. Most of the problems that we experience in relationships is due to the fact that we look for faults in others. Regardless of the problem, we tend to place all of the blame on others without ever accepting any responsibility in the situation. When you catch yourself starting to focus on your partner’s negative qualities, reverse your thinking and try to see him or her in a positive light. By doing this, we can avoid much conflict and many rejections.
  4. List your best qualities and characteristics. The more value you have in yourself, the better chance you have of enjoying a successful relationship and avoiding rejection. In addition, being fully aware of your best qualities can help you to deal with rejection without becoming devastated. You have to love and respect yourself before others can do so.
  5. Choose to avoid negative feelings and reactions. When you are mistreated or rejected by others, don’t respond in kind. If you do, you will only end up feeling bad about yourself and your actions. Instead of judging and showing hostility, try to understand the other person’s motivations and accept them for what they are. The more you practice these skills, the more happiness you will experience and the higher your self-worth will be.

Rejection is a part of life. My friend, who is learning how to become a cna, had to try hard to get into schools that she wanted. How if affects you, however, is entirely within your control. Learn to be accepting and understanding of others while seeing your own value as a good person and you will never be left crippled by rejection again.

Bobby H. has delt with a lot of rejection, and wants to help you overcome it.