The Donkey and the Elephant sailed on the Ship of State
They wanted more than anything to supervise its fate
The ship was sleek and fast and sure, the envy of the world
Its flag saluted with respect wherever ‘twas unfurled
The cargo bulged with luxury, with corn and plump soybean
With precious metals, pelts of fur, and Foreman’s Grill Machine
But Neptune leaves no vessel free of usage that is raw
He buffeted our Ship of State, in search of ev’ry flaw
The passengers, of many stripes, did not know what to do
Their cherished Ship was floundering upon the churning blue
The Captain and the crew spake bold, with many verbs and nouns
But to the passengers they seemed like bumbling circus clowns
Looming shoals and gaping rocks around the vessel spread
And filled the passengers with gloom and terrifying dread
They rushed about like baby chicks without a mother hen
Embracing everything from Christian Science to the Yen
The Donkey and the Elephant saw Opportunity
In the very danger that might drown them all at sea
“Brother” said the Elephant, “let’s put our pride away”
“and help the crew and captain to a safer, saner day.”
“I agree” the Donkey said, “our diff’rences aside,”
“let us lead the passengers and be their faithful guide!”
The Donkey and the Elephant announced to one and all
That from the Highest Power they’d received a sacred call
They’d take the Ship of State through any danger in a trice
Through the maelstrom wicked and the jagged arctic ice
The passengers were hesitant, the Captain blew a fuse
The pumps were failing rapidly; the crew got in the booze
The Donkey and the Elephant harangued the crowd at length
Promising administration full of truth and strength
The Donkey brayed: “My shipmates, we must overhaul the sails
“Pull the diesel motors out and substitute with snails”
The Elephant became enraged at what the Donkey preached
And offered his rebuttal that was sputtered, roared, and screeched:
“My friend is sorely misinformed, his program will not work”
“It favors only millionaires and those who go berserk!”
“I suggest we search the seas, both tropical and cold:”
“to look for pirate treasure, full of rubies, pearls and gold!”
“A pox on you!” the Donkey cried, “such fantasies inflame”
“The poor and homeless multitude, and make of life a game!”
“We need to put the anchor in the crow’s nest, for a start”
“We need to throw away the compass, sextant, and the chart!”
The passengers were fast asleep; the Captain tore his hair
The crew was certain that the ship was way beyond repair
The Donkey and the Elephant squared in combat grim
The time had come, so they announced, to either sink or swim!
The prow was crushed by mighty waves, the rudder had come loose
The lifeboats all had fallen off; the sea was running puce
“Your reckless views on marriage are a crime!” the Donkey cried
“You want to close the hospitals!” the Elephant replied.
And as they blamed each other for the ship’s oncoming wreck
The waters rose up to their waist, and then up to the neck
The passengers clutched life vests as they bobbed upon the waves
The Captain and his crew made paddles out of wooden staves
The Donkey and the Elephant continued to see red
Until the waves closed over each benighted, angry head
The Captain, crew and passengers soon gathered the debris
And made another ship to sail upon the fickle sea
The Donkey and the Elephant kept up their verbal soccer
Down below where Davey Jones maintains his soggy Locker.
Tim Torkildson writes verse for the Bulletin Board section of the Saint Paul Pioneer Press newspaper. He is also a free-lance blogger for agricultural heartland companies such as http://www.cropfax.com/