Marriage is a relationship that takes work. As evidenced by the high divorce rate, it is clear that most people do not want to put in the work that is necessary. When kids come along, it can become even more evident that there are issues, simply because there is additional pressure on the relationship. Divorce should not be your first thought when you are having problems. It is something that should only be a last resort, simply because of the severe mental and financial impacts that it can have on your life and on the lives of your children.
That is why you want to do what you can to turn your marriage around. Here are some ideas.
Go to a Counselor
Finding a professional to talk to about your marriage and the issues that you are having can make a big difference. Sometimes just the simple act of getting all of the emotional garbage out there can be a big relief and it can allow the two of you to talk about things with someone that is non-judgmental. They can also help you to communicate in a healthier way to ensure that your marriage can last.
Do not just tell them to “go away”, go away on a weekend together or a night together. Even a once yearly trip for just the two of you can be something that is really looked forward to. It can be a time for the two of you to recharge and reconnect. Being alone offers a great time for the two of you to come together and talk about goals and dreams that you have. From talking about vacation to making financial goals, this time can be integral in your marriage, simply because you can concentrate on each other without any distraction.
Remember the Good Times
Take some time to look through your photo albums. Start with when you were dating and then move from there. This can be a great way to remind each other why you fell in love in the first place. It is easy to forget why you got together when you are in the midst of problems, but this little reminder can give you the strength to keep fighting for your marriage. Making the time to look through your pictures and talk about your memories can be fun, too, especially for your kids!
Always Kiss Good Night
This one rule is something that many older people claim is the key to their marriage longevity. When you follow this rule, it is difficult to go to sleep mad. Sleeping on anger and bitterness will do nothing to your partner, it will only mess with your sleep and cause you to be even angrier in the morning. Take the time to agree to disagree, kiss your spouse, and tell them that you love them each and every night.
Perfection Is Impossible
The sooner that you come to realize and accept that perfect is impossible, you can move on to making your marriage fun and satisfying. Your spouse is not perfect, but neither are you. Accept each other’s faults and love each other through the ups and downs. That is the only way that you can have a successful marriage.
When you get divorced, you may think it is as simple as moving out and not having a relationship anymore. However, it can be much more involved. It can be financially draining to go through a divorce, with the court costs and the cost of lawyers, etc. It can also be emotionally draining, even if it is something you want, simply because it tends to bring out the worst in people. If you have to go back to court, such as to trying to find out how to reduce spousal support, it can cost you even more. That is why you want to be sure that you try everything possible to save your marriage.
When the two of you truly want to make your marriage work, you can. It may take more effort than you planned on and it may take giving up your pride, but you can make your marriage last and stay out of the divorce statistics. Whether you have been married for ten years or twenty years, it still takes work, so be sure that you give your marriage the best of you and your attention.
When freelance writer, Janis Rodgers, learned that a close family member was looking for a divorce lawyer on http://www.cadivorce.com, she decided to write articles to help others have a happy marriage. Her marriage of over 15 years has been her basis for her tips to make marriage more fun and satisfactory.